Teen Wolf

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This is gonna sound way gayer than it should, but why in the hell are Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson the break out stars of Twilight and New Moon when Taylor Lautner and Ashley Greene are walking around? Taylor Lautner is prettier than some of the chicks I’ve dated and Ashley Greene causes erections that could even make a Catholic priest consult his doctor. Meanwhile, Kristen Stewart looks like she should be doing a price check at Target and Robert Pattinson is probably calling a pet store and asking about their gerbil return policy. Anyway, here’s Taylor Lautner in Rolling Stone. In related news, be sure to check me out on the cover of next month’s “Model Airplane Weekly”. Shit’s gonna be hot.