Robert Pattinson Is Cruel

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Stephanie Meyer and Anne Rice have turned vampires into total hair product gaywads who prefer to cry and talk about their feelings than fuck people up, so it’s no surprise that Robert Pattinson went on Ellen to promote the movie about said gaywads. But I guess he has an interesting story. Whatever. Us Magazine reports:

…Pattinson, 23, tells Ellen DeGeneres about the woman who recently undressed for him in public during a marathon autograph-signing session. The New Moon star was burnt out after signing 500 signatures. “You kind of get ten seconds with each person and you never really say anything . . . I kind of got bored,” he explains. When one female fan asked Pattinson “how can I get your attention?” Pattinson had a novel suggestion. “I was like, um, just take your clothes off.” The fan obliged. “She stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security,” Pattinson says. “I never felt more terrible . . . I sound like I’m actually just abusing my position.”

I hate to brag, but I get girls to strip for me all the time. Especially on payday. This one girl really likes me and the bouncer said she thinks I’m really cute. It’s been three years and pretty soon I think she’s gonna tell me her real name!! I think she’s falling in love with me!! Suck on that Robert!!