Johnny Depp Is The Sexiest Man Alive

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The queer vampire almost won, but 2009’s Sexiest Man Alive has gone to Johnny Depp. People magazine reports:

Break out the Bordeaux, the whoopee cushions and the bangin’ Keith Richards guitar solos, because the 2009 Sexiest Man Alive party is officially under way. Bringing the fun with him wherever he goes – whether it’s onscreen in fizzy roles like Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise or at home with his family on their private Bahamian island – is just one reason why Johnny Depp, who also scored the honor in 2003, has joined an elite club of two-time SMA title holders (only Brad Pitt and George Clooney have matched the feat). At 46, the father of two still reigns as Hollywood’s most irresistible iconoclast; as one-of-a-kind as his beloved 15-year-old boots and as smoldering as his favorite Cuban cigars. “Johnny Depp has magical powers. He’s unlike anyone else,” says actress Isla Fisher, who’s married to Sacha Baron Cohen. “He’s funny, generous and clever. It’s just a shame he’s so hard on the eyes.”

Not only may I consider having sex with Johnny Depp if I was drunk, he is also one of the most generous, down-to-earth actors in Hollywood. Other actors have admittedly been star struck around him, yet he goes out of his way not to be a pretentious ass and actually care about his fans (read about some examples here, here, and here). If Robert Pattinson won there’s a good chance he would enslave the Hebrews and force them to build a temple in his honor while he reads the back of hair gel bottles and circles guys he wants to call in Details magazine.