Jon Gosselin Has A Sex Tape, Likes Cocaine

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I defended Jon Gosselin for a while, because his wife is an emasculating cunt who only cares about money and being famous, but I’ve realized that both of them should thrown into a volcano. This isn’t helping. National Enquirer reports:

Jon’s bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC’s lawsuit against Jon, and The ENQUIRER has learned Meinelt claims he saw Jon snort cocaine many times, and that he’s watched Jon’s secret sex tape! “Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he’s seen the tape!” said Stephanie Santoro, Jon’s former flame and family nanny. “Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. “He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!”

Yeah, that’s what I want to see. A father of eight with hairplugs doing blow off some chick he met at a convenient store. I don’t know if he really met her at a convenient store, but Koreans are into that sort of thing, right?

Sofia Vergara because my image editing software is racist against Koreans: