Shauna Sand Is Suing, Unfortunately Not Her Surgeon

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Shauna Sand, whore and mother of Lorenzo Lamas’ three daughters, is suing Vivid Entertainment because she was stupid enough to make a sex tape then forget where she put it. TMZ reports:

Shauna Sand is in a war over a hardcore sex tape that’s about to be released — but her defense is almost as revealing as the tape itself. TMZ has learned Vivid Entertainment has acquired the tape — featuring Sand and her Miami boyfriend — and plans to release it on October 19. But not without a fight from Shauna. Sand just told us, “Yes I did make a sex tape with my boyfriend earlier this year. In fact I’ve made several sex tapes, but I certainly didn’t sign off on this and Vivid has no right to put it out. I am trying to get a hold of my attorney now.” But Vivid founder Steven Hirsch says he’s legally entitled to hawk the tape, saying, “We were approached by a third party, who brought us footage of Shauna having sex with her current boyfriend and we were immediately interested in acquiring it … We’re comfortable with our legal position in releasing this footage.”

I think Vivid is being sarcastic releasing this tape so close to Halloween, because let’s be honest, Shauna Sand looks like beef jerky covered in bronzer. I’m not even joking when I say I’d rather watch a sex tape of my mom and a lion. At least then I can pretend I’m watching Animal Planet or something and not spend my time crossing myself because I’m convinced the lady on the screen tit’s are filled with the screams of small children.

If you’re in a safe place and you want to take a long look at the unadulterated hell that are Shauna Sand’s tits, feel free to stare into the abyss HERE (NSFW/L). But be warned, when you stare too long into the abyss, the abyss also stares into you…