Whoopi Goldberg Has It All Figured Out

Using the time she watched that Roman Polanski documentaryher law degree and years of extensive courtroom experience as the foundation for her comments on The View yesterday, Whoopi Goldberg said that what Polanski did “wasn’t rape-rape.” Really? Awesome. Because I was under the impression that drugging and holding a 13-year old against her will then sodomizing her was kinda illegal. I think I thought that, because well, it fucking is. It doesn’t matter if a chick looks 22 and is grinding on your lap and smoking black tar heroin as her mom shows you her Spartan Army gangbang video, if she’s 13 and you stick your dick in her ass, you’re going to jail. I’m not really sure how else to explain that. If I shoot someone, my excuse can’t be “well, he’s been shot before and his mom was cool with it.” I really hope this clears up any misconceptions you might have before you start thinking Girl Scouts know how to party, you sick fuck.

You know, since Whoopi wasn’t actually there when it happened, it might be a good idea to hear the story from somebody who was. Like the victim. You can read her grand jury testimony HERE, but be warned, you may never let your child leave the house again.

And you can read Polanski’s plea transcript HERE. Don’t forget to read the part where he admitted knowing Samantha was 13.