Amy Winehouse Is Cured!!

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If you stacked all the drugs Amy Winehouse has done in the last twenty-six years, Jack wouldn’t have needed the beanstalk to find that chicken who laid the golden egg, but instead of intense rehab and therapy, Amy Winehouse has hired a faith healer, Peter Hippolyte, to cure her addiction to drugs and alcohol. Of course it’s gonna work. Isn’t that right, Peter? Tell us, tell us what the chicken bones and crystal ball have FORETOLD! Daily Mail reports:

‘I have healing hands and I talk to her and explain things to her,’ he told Heat magazine. ‘She’s a wonderful girl and she believes in me. I am coming back to England to help her.’ Peter talked about his therapy sessions with the star, who became addicted to drink and drugs when with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil. He said: ‘We hug each other, we kiss each other and I put my hands on her shoulder. ‘I tell her not to worry and we sing to each other. When I come to the UK, I will use my hands to help heal her and use my psychological healing to organise her mind.’We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants.’ However, despite Amy trying to turn her life around it seems it will be a long time before she manages to shrug off her tarnished image.

Whatever. This bitch snorts so much powder she could have cleaned up behind Hitler. Next.

Crack Den Barbie: