They Did It For 10 Years

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I think I’m gonna be sick. Us Weekly reports:

…Chynna Phillips of the hit 90s group Wilson Phillips shares her side of the sad story. Chynna, 41, tells Us Weekly she remembers getting the call from Mackenzie, 49, in 1997 — 11 years after the affair had ended — while she was between flights at LaGuardia Airport in New York City. “She said, ‘I don’t know why, but I just really felt the need to call you and tell you something that I think you need to know,'” Chynna tells Us Weekly. “And she went on to tell me that she had had an incestuous relationship with our dad for about 10 years.” When the affair began, John was married to his third wife, model Genevieve ­Waïte. Chynna’s reaction, naturally, was complete shock. “Somebody could have dropped a piano on my head and I probably wouldn’t have felt it,” the singer tells Us Weekly. “But I knew it was true. I mean, who in their right mind would make such a claim if it wasn’t true?” She says the news sent her into “a deep, deep sadness and depression for about 10 days. A part of me died when I found out.”

If John Phillips was still alive, I think it would be pretty cool to crack his “World’s Greatest Dad!” mug over his carotid artery. Partly because he deserves it, but mostly because I think it may be a little hard for me to find a mosquito preserved in amber so I could get T-Rex DNA. And the red tape and legal mumbo jumbo I’d have to go through to get a private island to release it and John Phillips with a live cow chained to his leg on would be kind of a hassle. I ain’t got that kinda time. The mixture for my lavender facial is almost ready.

Here’s some cute puppies instead of any of these freaks, because dear God this story is sick: