Jon Gosselin Got Dumped

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Hailey Glassman passes out in hotel hallways and poses in pictures while smoking bowls with wiggers, so too bad Jon Gosselin didn’t treat her like the sophisticated lady that she is. inTouch Weekly reports:

“When Jon came back, he said very little to Hailey, but his phone spilled the details,” the friend tells In Touch. “He had several text messages and photos taken with girls, including a showgirl. Hailey was shocked that he didn’t bother to delete any of it from his phone.” On September 4, Hailey called Jon and told him she was through. “She’d had it,” the close friend adds. “She said she couldn’t trust him.” Once madly in love, Hailey first grew suspicious of Jon’s extracurricular activities when tabloid reporter Kate Major claimed she and Jon were an item in July. Although Jon told In Touch he and Kate were “just friends,” Hailey was still skeptical. “He lied to her about Kate Major,” the close friend reveals. Hailey also now believes that Jon was with other women as well, after he moved into a bachelor pad in New York. “He would go out and return wearing totally different clothes,” the close friend explains. “Hailey would question Jon about it, and he’d just say he had spilled a drink on himself.” Hailey also believes that Jon collects numbers from the adoring female fans who line the fence at the Reading, Pa., home he shares with his estranged wife, Kate. “She doesn’t want to deal with that,” the friend explains.

I sat here for about ten minutes wondering what I was gonna say about this, then I looked at the banner picture, then I looked at the pictures of this skank, then I made

some cereal, then I realized that I was writing about Jon Gosselin getting dumped and the only thing I could come up with was, “Um, next.”