Michael Jackson Had A Secret

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It has been revealed that Michael Jackson had two secret email accounts, one AOL and one with Gmail, that he used to buy prescription drugs illegally. I don’t know if you Michael Jackson fans have picked up on this yet, but he might have had a drug problem. Showbiz Spy reports:

…police on Sunday said they had only recently discovered the tragic King of Pop kept accounts with AOL and Google’s Gmail. “The email accounts could hold vital evidence with regard to Michael’s death and the drugs he was using regularly,” a source told the tabloid. “Not only did he get prescription drugs through a network of doctors, it’s believed he may also have got them from illegal websites or drug cartels. The LAPD has to get a search warrant first and this takes a few days.

I’m not even going to begin to think about what it would have been like to get high with Michael Jackson. Fuck that. I couldn’t hang. I’d walk into his house and twenty minutes later I’d be sliding down a rainbow or flying through space on the back of an elderly Mexican dragon while he taught me life lessons through song and magic. Then I’d wake up covered in blood six counties over in a ditch wearing pool floaties and a Viking helmet.

Again, I have no idea what Gemma Atkinson’s tits have to do with this story, but it was either this or pictures of a 50-year old guy whose been dead for two months. You can see where I might not have struggled with that decision: