Michael Jackson Isn’t Buried Yet

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Entertainment Tonight ran a story eight days ago called “Confirmed: Michael Jackson Laid to Rest”. Well, apparently that was news to Joe Jackson, because he says Michael will be buried in Los Angeles on August 29th (the singer’s birthday). New York Daily News reports:

The King of Pop will finally be laid to rest. Or so says his dad. Michael Jackson will be buried in Forest Lawn Cemetery in Los Angeles at 10 a.m. on Aug. 29 on what would have been the King of Pop’s 51st birthday, Joe Jackson told Steve Friess, the Daily News’ man in Las Vegas. The elder Jackson indicated that the burial plans had been made final just in the past few days. He discussed the burial over ribs and jalapeño corn bread at the poolside Simon at Palms Place at the Palms hotel and casino.

Please keep in mind that Michael Jackson died on June 25th. June. The 25th. What the fuck are they doing, an alien autopsy? Why is this shit taking 60 days? I don’t keep milk in my refrigerator this long. Do they think he’s gonna rise from the dead? Because if he does, I can only assume being a reanimated corpse carrying a monkey in a diaper and a bag of candy might not be that inviting to little boys.