The Memorial Service Is Today

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The memorial service for Michael Jackson, which is being broadcast live to over 80 countries by all of the major networks, is being held in Los Angeles today where over 1 million people are expected to attend. Kids get in free! TMZ reports:

Michael Jackson will create even more pandemonium in death than he did in life — his body will take center stage at Tuesday’s public memorial at the Staples Center in downtown L.A. The family will hold a private memorial early in the morning at Forest Lawn — where the body is now. The coffin will then be transported to Staples for what promises to be one of the biggest spectacles in L.A. history.

When they transport his body to the Staples Center, I think a good idea would be for them to put him on a float made of Demerol and cotton candy and let it be pulled down the street by a hundred 5-year old boys in bedazzled Peter Pan costumes riding Big Wheels. And then a group of 7-year old boys dressed like 1940’s sailors would bust out of the top of the float and perform a synchronized baton twirling routine to Man in the Mirror while candy and bubblegum rained from the sky. I mean, he’s only dead. That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t want to enjoy the party, too.

To celebrate the life of Michael Jackson, here’s Keeley Hazell in some lingerie. I’m really not sure what she has to do with Michael Jackson, but hey, tits! (If you want to see them breathe, check out Keeley here, here, and here [NSFW]):