Michael Jackson Was Serious

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Reports have been coming out all week about the level of Michael Jackson’s insane drug use, so you might be wondering how he was able to get his Smaug’s treasure of prescription meds with so easily. Don’t worry, Mike was on top of it. TMZ reports:

We’ve learned Jackson frequently used the names Omar Arnold and Jack London to get powerful drugs, including Demerol. Jackson also used the name of one of his bodyguards, as well as the name of the office manager for one of his doctors. The DEA, which is joining to assist the LAPD in its investigation of several doctors who prescribed drugs to Jackson, will be hunting down these names and others. Sources tell us the prescription abuse was so egregious, one doctor would call the pharmacy and say Jackson was coming down to get Demerol. The pharmacy would then fill the prescription, leaving the patient’s name blank.

Jesus, who did Michael Jackson have planning this shit, Danny Ocean and Patton? It’s hard to figure out if he was a drug addict or just thought Demerol was the Hope Diamond.