Oh, Hey There Dumbass

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I realize this has absolutely nothing to do with celebrities or me, so I probably really shouldn’t be posting this, but I’d really like you to meet Jeremy Lloyd Martin – the dumbest fucking dude on Earth. Splash News says:

Meet the man accused of being so upset at how McDonald’s handled his order he called 911 – and ended up being arrested himself. Jeremy Lloyd Martin, 23, is said to have flipped out when he was only handed a single burger and fries and told to pull away from the fast food restaurant in Clackamas, Oregon. He is accused of calling 911 and being told: “Sir, this is not a police matter.” He then allegedly called back to demand officers were sent over. “This is a 911 emergency,” the caller said. “I got robbed for eight dollars.” “Sir, 911 is life-and-death only,” the dispatcher said. “If you do continue calling 911 you will be arrested for misuse.” The furious caller then said: “Well, arrest me. Send a cop right now. I swear to God all my life…” Martin was arrested at the scene. He later stood by his actions in a radio interview. “I was very upset that they tried to charge me for food I had already paid for,” he said. “For me to end up going to jail over a $10 order, that’s just ridiculous”.

I’ve sat here, I’ve tried, but I can’t for the life of me think of a reason why I would call 911 because Consuela or some recovering meth addict with the fresh tat on her neck got my order wrong at a drive thru. You know how not to get your order wrong at a drive thru? Don’t go to a fucking drive thru. In case you didn’t know, McDonald’s isn’t exactly SAS or Google. You’re lucky the person behind the window isn’t beating the cash register with a brontosaurus bone or being amazed by fire. In hindsight, I’m pretty sure this dude will realize he’s an idiot. Just like the San Diego State Alpha Phi’s did after they called 911 because I was too sexy. Hey, ladies, no need to be like that. We got all night, baby.

Since this post is completely random, let’s keep the party going with yet even more randomness – Sofia Vergara’s damn near perfect body on a yacht. You’re welcome: