Vanessa Minnillo is Single

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After three years of dating, Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey have split. You know, not that I really give a damn. Star Magazine reports:

“They have amicably split but remain good friends who still greatly care for one another,” Vanessa’s rep said. Talk of trouble has followed the duo for months. Back in May, Star reported that Nick was hitting on a Jessica look-alike at a Kentucky Derby party — the night after he kissed another girl at a club.

So to recap, a chick who barely anybody knows dumped some guy that you liked when you were 14 then realized that boy bands are gay so you banged the guy in your high school who sold drugs and drove that new Jeep. Except it really wasn’t his Jeep it was his dad’s because his dad was rich and the guy was just a wigger you thought was cool because he wore his hat backwards and used words he learned on BET and listened to rap because he could identify with it because how he was raised in that gated community on the golf course where his mom got drunk that one time and slipped, hey you remember that? He even had a pitbull because after all that’s what black people do and he felt that if he did he could be black too, because black people are cool because they can like dance and stuff and rent Ferrari’s for a day when they do a videoshoot and sip champagne when dey thurstay. I guess I could ramble on a little more, but I hope this clears this whole story up.

Vanessa Minnillo and her nipples back when Nick Lachey was supposedly cool: