Jon & Kate Plus 8 Madness!!

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On the cover of the new issue of Us Magazine, the whoring of Jon and Kate Goselin has reached damn near crisis levels, as anyone and everyone who knows them is spreading dirt on them like Johnny Appleseed. I can only assume it’s because everybody hates Kate.

Jon & Kate mom Kate Gosselin grew so close to her bodyguard, Steve Neild (ed. note: Pic #6), it caught the attention of her husband, Jon — and has become the talk of many locals in their Berks County, Pennsylvania, community. Since May 2008, Kate has made 50 public appearances, criss-crossing the country, often with Neild by her side, as Jon stayed home with the kids. Even when at home — whether at Starbucks or at restaurants — Neild has been a constant companion to Gosselin, who is estranged from her family and viewed in town as not having friendsThe married Neild — who once worked for Bill Clinton, and is often photographed not wearing his wedding band — were “very physical, often touching each other,” says an employee at a recent promotional appearance for their TLC reality show. “She was gently poking him, giving him little love pats, totally unlike the slapping she does with Jon. She and Steve were joking around so much, I actually wondered if they were having an affair. There’s a lot of open affection between them.”

Kate’s brother and his wife, Kevin Kreider and “Aunt” Jodi, who were regulars on the show during it’s first three seasons have come forward with allegations as well. Mostly involving Kate being an unhinged, controlling psycho. Star Magazine reports:

* Jon told Kevin he believes Kate is having an affair with bodyguard Steve Neild;

* Kate drew up a secret contract that allows Jon to have girlfriends on the side — as long as he stays on the show;

* She has cut off her entire family — even her parents — and spends less and less time with her eight children while she promotes her career

* Her explosive temper and controlling ways have led to bitter battles between the TV couple.

And Kevin and Jodi reveal why they are no longer on the hit show. Kate freaked out when TLC suggested they be paid for their time. “No one else is getting paid but us!” Kate screamed at her brother. “We’re done!’

Jesus, is there anybody in this story who isn’t a complete fuck up? It’s like a damn cartoon at this point. By this time next week, Kate will get photographed trying to push an elephant up a staircase and Jon is gonna fall down a manhole or have piano drop on his head.