Kong Kardashian is a Mermaid

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I guess when your two older sisters are a billion times hotter than you in every possible way because you’re a giant who takes estrogen shots to fight the effects of your heterogametic condition, you probably lay up nights thinking of ways to overcompensate. Like Khloe Kardashian did when she posted pictures of her dressed up like a mermaid on her Twitter yesterday. I know she thinks these are supposed to be sexy, but she looks like something Aquaman would fight. I swear, if this came out of the water after me, I’d be fumbling with my harpoon like people in horror movies do with their keys when they’re trying to unlock a door, because it would be obvious that she was trying to eat me.