Jon Minus Kate Minus Eight Plus Some Other Chick

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It has been rumored for a few months now that Jon Gosselin, 32, (Jon from Jon & Kate Plus 8) has been having an extramarital affair (Star broke the story in March). Today, the extramarital affair’s brother, Jason Hummel, has revealed that Jon has been secretly seeing his sister, 23-year old teacher, Deanna Hummel. In Jon’s defense, he had been keeping it discreet. Like the time he invited Deanna to sunbathe at his house when his wife was gone and the time he sneaked out of Deanna’s house in front of a street full of photographers. US Magazine reports:

“She’s a nice girl, not a homewrecker,” Jason tells Us Weekly. “He is a bad liar. This isn’t healthy for her. But she is refusing to help herself, so here I am trying to help her myself. I hope this clears the air.”…At the Hummel house, Jason says Deanna and Jon would “pretty much stay locked away like two teenagers. It was weird. He’s a grown man.” He also adds, “A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um — how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let’s just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who’s, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast.”

This is going to sound really bad, but hi five! Watch two minutes of this show and you’ll realize that his only options were 1.) Get a new piece or 2.) Put a shotgun in his mouth and blow his fucking brains out. Like eight bratty kids screaming all day wasn’t bad enough, this dude is married to the most controlling, emasculating nag on Earth. I’m not even joking when I say I’d rather live with a pack of wild jackals.

Since I’m not looking for pictures of any of these people, here’s the painful erection known as Gemma Atkinson: