Kiefer Sutherland is a Happy Drunk

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It what may be the weirdest thing you read all day, Kiefer Sutherland headbutted and broke the nose of a fashion designer at the Metropolitan Museum gala after-party last night after the designer allegedly…wait for it…knocked Brooke Shields down. TMZ reports:

It happened at an after-party for the Met costume gala last night. We’re told witnesses say the alleged victim — Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough — allegedly knocked Brooke Shields over and Kiefer saw it happen. The witnesses say Kiefer went over to the man and told him to apologize to her. At that point they say McCollough pushed Kiefer and the actor responded with a headbutt. A police report was taken and the incident is under investigation.

However, Brooke Shields has another recollection of the incident. It didn’t happen.

Shields’ reps tell TMZ the man Kiefer headbutted last night in no way did anything to Brooke that would have warranted the alleged attack…Brooke’s rep say “nothing happened to her,” adding “Jack did nothing inappropriate. It’s not clear what caused Keifer to do what he did.”…Brooke’s reps tell us Jack, who designs clothes for Brooke, “did absolutely nothing to her.” But here’s where the plot thickens. We asked the rep, “Did Jack touch her?” Their response — “We don’t know.”

Kiefer Sutherland is a legendary drunk lunatic (he is currently on probation for DUI), so there’s no way he was sober for this. Especially since it seems like he went through a lot of work to make a gay dude cry. He didn’t need to resort to violence. If Kiefer wanted to make this designer cry, all he had to do was tell him that somebody in ABBA died.