Sarah Jessica Parker Needs a Bigger Stall

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Trying to put an end to their divorce and the “Matthew Broderick is a flaming queer” rumors, the couple have announced they are expecting twins! You know, without all the heterosexual sex. OK! Magazine reports:

Congratulations to Sarah Jessica Parker and husband Matthew Broderick, who confirmed on Tuesday that, with the aid of a surrogate mother, they are expecting twins this summer! In a statement released to Entertainment Weekly, a rep for the couple said they are “happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is overjoyed.”

Wow, nothing says true love like jerking off into a plastic cup and having your semen surgically injected into a third party carrying your wife’s eggs, so congratulations to the happy couple! Not the kid though. Especially since his dad looks like an effeminate junior high Earth Science teacher and his mom looks like Marshall Bravestarr’s horse. This kid could come out with scales and talons, and they would be, at best, his third worst feature.

Not to sound jealous, but look at all the sexual chemistry in these pictures. RAWR!: