Octomom Was a Stripper Named Angelina

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You might be surprised to learn that a single woman with no source of income or permanent place of residence would have octuplets with the help medical technology, even though she had six already, would be desperate for attention, but be prepared to have your mind blown! She does! Just like she did in her last job!

An exotic dancer going by the name of Sage tells In Touch that she performed with Nadya at amateur stripping contests and bachelor parties between 1999 and 2000. “I met her at an amateur contest, and we wound up doing parties together,” she explains. Limo driver Luis Ceballos also claims to have enountered Nadya during her stripping days. Rather than being shy and ashamed about her job as she has said, he reckons Nadya “always said she wanted to be really famous” and was “overly flirty with the guys we performed for.”

The seething hatred I have for this selfish, delusional lunatic can only be matched by the thought of seeing this hag on stage in Lucite heels and a baby doll dress. That banner picture looks like something that should be pulled out of that whale in Pinocchio, not asking me to go to a private room. I’m not even joking when I say I’d rather get a lap dance from a bear trap.

Why pictures of Angelina Jolie being slutty instead of Octomom? Dude. I hope you didn’t just say that out loud: