The Japanese Have a Penis Festival

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Okay, so, this has nothing to do with celebrities, but I was on Splash looking for pictures to post last night when I saw “Hundreds of thousands come together for the world’s largest penis festival”. Specifically, the Steel Phallus festival in Kawasaki, Japan. If you’ve ever seen the sheer lunacy that passes for entertainment in Japan, you really shouldn’t be surprised that they have a date set on the calendar where people party in the street with giant blow up dongs. I have no idea what happens at this thing, but based on these pictures, old ladies and gay dudes walk around sucking on candy that look like penises. But don’t worry. Not mine, though. Mine has been featured in several major magazines and commercials for Fortune 500 companies. Rugged yet sophisticated, it’s exacting tastes are only shadowed by it’s reputation of danger and intrigue. Many test audiences have said that, although impressive, it still somehow comes across as somebody you’d want to have a glass of melon vodka with. I think we can all agree that’s the sign of a true artist.