Cushion For The Pushin’

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All observe Coleen Rooney, wife of Manchester United footballer Wayne Rooney, and woman in Barbados who isn’t wafer thin, but still wears a two piece. There’s something about hip-bones digging into my torso that I’m not into. I appear not to be alone in this sentiment, though some rush to label me a “chubby chaser.”

Which isn’t that far off, because I’ve got a chubby and I’m chasing…anyone. I’m not picky, and I’m desperate ever since being wrongfully accused of spreading a groin rash amongst the Duke cheerleaders.