Really? This Is What We’re Doing Now?

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I’m told this woman is Lady GaGa, a pop star I should care about, though all I see when I look at these photos is a Japanese transvestite cyborg. Paint Ashlee Wentz-Simpson orange and give her a Minnie Mouse bow made out of human hair, and this is basically what she’d look like.

I was silent about Kanye West sunglasses that didn’t shield your eyes from the sun, and I kept quiet for years while Ashton Kutcher lead the trucker hat trend straight into the ground, but I will draw the line here: If I’m supposed to use my hair to artistically represent something else, everyone can just go f— themselves, ’cause I’m not doing it.

Hair should not look like other things. I think I have a t-shirt with that slogan on it.