Madonna and Guy Ritchie are Getting Divorced

[Gallery not found]

There have been rumors for months that the marriage between Madonna and Guy Ritchie has been on the rocks, but according to The Daily Mail, the couple’s 8-year marriage is expected to end any day now. To no one’s surprise, Richie is has finally had enough of Madonna’s out of control ego and her insistence on adopting more children (even though the lil’ African one caused a “severe strain on their marriage”). The silver lining in this tale of lost love, however, is that Ritchie is expected to receive a $300 million settlement – half of Madonna’s fortune. Suck on that, Madonna!

“The couple are said to have had a string of rows in recent months. But over the past three weeks it has become so strained they are thought to have communicated only through their personal assistants…Madonna, who is currently on a gruelling world tour, is said to have wanted to postpone any separation until the New Year. But Ritchie apparently decided that they should go their separate ways immediately…Last night a close friend of the couple said: ‘They have both been fighting and the marriage has been on the rocks for weeks. ‘Guy has been the one who has come to the conclusion that enough is enough. They had planned to make it work in the New Year after the end of Madonna’s world tour but it quickly became clear that the relationship was not worth saving. ‘Guy has been saying that they both have separate lives at the moment. ‘Madonna spends too much time in the gym and she is obsessed with trying to look years younger than her real age.’ The source added: ‘Guy feels that Madonna does not focus on him any more.'”

$300 million seems pretty reasonable, but maybe they could also erect a giant gold statue of Guy Ritchie riding a winged bear and swinging a sword made out of lightning. Or maybe they could make him a Jedi or give him a virgin every day for the rest of his life. I don’t know. I’m not entirely sure what kind of award you’d give somebody for putting up with this hag for ten years.

Update: Madonna and Guy’s reps confirmed their split.

Madonna and her mustache at the premiere of some movie she directed:

Press release via Splash