Jamie Lynn Spears Might Be Pregnant

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Stop!, You have found the most redneck story ever. National Enquirer reports:

“In a blockbuster world exclusive, The ENQUIRER has learned that the 17-year-old Zoey 101 starlet is now expecting for the second time – a mere three months after giving birth on June 19 to baby Maddie Briann. Jamie’s desperate to keep the shock­ing news secret and some people close to her are urging Jamie Lynn to consider ending the pregnancy, sources say. “Jamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical,” revealed a close source. “Neither of them knows what to do, but for now they’re trying to keep the news from getting out.” Too late. The unplanned pregnancy came as a shock to Jamie Lynn, who’d been breast-feeding her infant daughter Maddie Briann, insiders say. “Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding,” said the close source. “She’d expected to have her period by early September.” A home pregnancy test came back positive and Jamie Lynn cried her eyes out, said the source.”

Hey, remember this story? Yeah. Of course Jamie Lynn thought she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breastfeeding. She’s an idiot. It’s a shame that young girls today would look up to her. Girls should know that the only way not to get pregnant is to dress up in spike heels and a cop hat while doing anal. I’ve conducted several tests and most scientists agree that’s the only way to be 100% sure.

Update: Her rep is denying it, but c’mon, dude. She’s a Spears. She’d let you get her pregnant for magic beans or if you promised to show her a pink pony.