Josh Hartnett is Suing

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Earlier this month, The Daily Mirror reported that Josh Hartnett was caught on CCTV having sex with a chick in Soho’s hotel library in London. For some reason the world thinking you bang hot chicks in libraries in a bad thing.

The 30-year-old, who is about to star in a West End production of Rain Man, said through his lawyers that he is seeking damages for defamation. Hartnett is also seeking a public apology, according to the statement….The allegations are “not only untrue but a complete fabrication”, said his legal representatives, adding they were “defamatory and unsubstantiated”.

I tried to figure out why somebody would make up a story about Josh Hartnett having sex in public, because really, it’s Josh Hartnett. Who cares. If you’re gonna make up a story, go all out, man. Like Ron Howard has a private island where he breeds sex slaves for Tom Hanks. Or the time I got beat up by the Berries and Cream guy. All lies. Vicious lies I tell, ya!