Tom Cruise is Getting Sued

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Tom Cruise and The Church of Scientology have been named in a $250 million federal lawsuit by an ex-Scientologist, Rush & Molloy report. Using the RICO statute, okay I don’t know what that means. A guy named Rico painted my house. Is that the same thing? I’m confused.

Ex-Scientologist Peter Letterese, a longtime critic of the church, filed suit in Southern District Court in Florida on July 15 alleging, among other things, that members of the church harassed him after he left. In court papers provided to The News by investigator Paul Barresi, Letterese claims a member of the church phoned his lawyer at home, and when the lawyer’s wife answered, said he was her husband’s homosexual lover…Letterese calls the church a “crime syndicate” and wants it broken up under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization law, just as the feds have broken up Mafia families. He singles out Cruise, who’s made no secret of his religion, saying that Scientology head David Miscavage is “aided and abetted by the actions of Tom Cruise, his right-hand man for foreign and domestic promotion, as well as for foreign and domestic lobbying. He has assisted the syndicate in acquiring funds and [made] his own donations of money believed to be in the multiple tens of millions of dollars.” Of Letterese’s beefs is that the church allegedly uses a business book, “Effective Sales Closing Techniques,” as part of its teachings. He says this violates his intellectual property rights, since he bought the rights to the book from the widow of author Leslie Dane.”

I hate Tom Cruise and Scientology, so let’s hope by this time next year, Peter Letterese is guarding his mountain of money with a trident and an armored dragon. Most people don’t realize this, but dragons looks scarier when they are covered in armor.

I dare you to look gayer than Tom Cruise does here. I dare you: