Madonna is a Ghost

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Hey, you remember all the drama surrounding Madonna’s brother’s “tell-all” book, Life With My Sister Madonna, because it was supposed to be a brutal, no-holds barred expose? Yeah, then do you remember when it came out this month and it wasn’t a brutal, no-holds barred expose? Gee, I wonder why? Page Six reports:

Madonna is truly the master of media manipulation. “The supposed scandal about [her brother] Christopher Ciccone’s book is bull[bleep],” an insider told Page Six. “She actually ghost-wrote parts of it with him, the way Princess Diana helped Andrew Morton write his book on her. That’s why there’s nothing too devastating in Chris’s book. He’s mean to others, but not so much to his sister.” In addition, Madge, now frighteningly rail thin, exploited Alex Rodriguez. “She flirted with him and manipulated him,” our source declared. “She didn’t count on wife Cynthia leaving him and naming her in the divorce, though.” Madonna is using the buzz over her relationship with A-Rod to her benefit. “She’s ordered three A-Rod Yankee jerseys she’ll wear in the finale of her upcoming shows. All of this was created to sell tickets for her tour, which hasn’t been selling so well.”

The government should start looking to gays as an alternative fuel source, because I’m sure keeping a wrinkly middle-aged chick with man arms remotely relevant takes a lot of energy. If gays didn’t exist, instead of tricking people into buying tickets to her show, Madonna would be watching Matlock and knitting a sweater. And I wouldn’t know that the key to mix ‘n matching fabrics is to start with one key fabric that ties all of your fabrics together then choose other fabrics in the same color palette. Wow, thanks guys!