Tila Tequila is a Fragile Artifact

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Tila Tequila is that MySpace whore who got her own show because MTV is cheap and Tila is a cheap whore. King Magazine is that magazine you don’t read unless you’re a black thug, you’re not black but act like you are, or you’re anyone from Atlanta or Detroit. If you’re any of the above, this will get you off. Via King Magazine:

King: “What about the people who say you’re not really bisexual-that you’re hetero and just pretending for the show? Care to set the record, uh, straight?”

Tila: “They can suck my dick.

King: “When you were stripping, did you ever have any awkward run-ins with high-school teachers?”

Tila: “I invited my history teacher, who was also the football coach, and I had a big crush on him. I told him that he needed to come visit me and that I wouldn’t tell anybody. He was very tempted, I’m sure, but he never did show up.

To a history teacher, your “look” isn’t fascinating anymore. You look like something that was recovered from the UFO wreckage at Roswell. That was, what, 1947? You’re not the cool updated alien look like they had in Independence Day or Mars Attacks. Shit, you’re not even cool enough to be associated with Cocoon. Pack up your dick and fly home to Planet Fail.

Photos: King