R. Kelly is Not Guilty

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Wow, what surprise. TMZ reports:

A jury has found R. Kelly not guilty! A jury acquitted the singer of all fourteen counts of child pornography. The “Bump and Grind” singer was first charged six years ago after the kinky sex tape surfaced allegedly featuring him having sex — among other things — with a girl who was as young as 13 at the time.”

Just so we’re clear, if you’re a celebrity and you want to cut off the head of your wife and stab her friend to death or piss on a 13-year old girl and fuck her on videotape, go for it. Hey man, no worries! Live life to the fullest!

Update: The morons who didn’t convict Kelly blame the victim for her lack of participation in the trial.

After the trial was over, jurors spoke to the press about their decision, explaining that though they thought Kelly was on the tape, they were unsure of the girl’s identity. “We were uncertain as to the female, and the absence of her was a major lack in the case,” juror #23 said.”

Source: MTV

I want to piss on you: