Jeremy Piven is Smooth

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Page Six reports that Jeremy Piven is basically stalking Dita Von Teese:

The “Entourage” star picked out two black satin, sequined mini-dresses from the Be Seduced line for a woman he told a swag-suite clerk he had a crush on. But as he browsed at Kari Feinstein’s suite at Social Hollywood in LA last week, he was forced to come clean about the identity of his “brunette and curvy” lady friend because he didn’t know her size. He finally told the clerk the dresses were for Von Teese, the burlesque-dancing ex-wife of Marilyn Manson. “He said he likes her, but it’s not official yet,” the employee told Page Six. Piven’s rep said the duo are “not dating. He’s busy shooting a movie.” But apparently he’s not too busy to flirt. Von Teese’s lawyer, Keith Fink, told us Piven has seen her performance and he shyly said hello to her when he ran into her at an LA newsstand right before he bought the dresses. “She is single, and she’s not dating, so he should step up to the plate because there’s a lot of guys interested,” said Fink.”

Wait, Jeremy Piven stared at the ground and mumbled hello to Dita Von Teese after he “ran into” her on the street, then he bought her some dresses? Um, ok. Yeah. Because nothing says “I’m not creepy” like picking out clothes for your imaginary girlfriend. I wonder if this happened before or after he broke into her house and masturbated in her panty drawer. Probably before. From what people tell me, masturbating can make you pretty lazy.

NSFW Dita Von Teese: