Most celebrities are pretentious, self-centered douchebags in real life and it’s amazing when their unfiltered sense of entitlement shows up in publis ppaces. Like celebrity chef Guy Rubino’s Toronto Asian restaurant, Rain. New York Daily News reports:
[Nelly Furtado] made a reservation for 10 guests…She showed up an hour late, with five extra people in tow,” [Rubino] said. “For parties that size, we do a prix-fixe type of menu. Nelly objected and was really rude about it. She expected individual dishes to be prepared. Her manager even came into the kitchen and had the gall to say, ‘Just fucking do it!’ I told her that she and her client could ‘just fucking LEAVE.'”….Rubino also sniffed at Justin Timberlake ‘s restaurant manners. “Timberlake comes into Rain, doesn’t even look at the menu and shouts for random food that we don’t make…If he knew what he wanted, why come to an Asian restaurant in the first place?”
Justin Timberlake is a whiny little prick, but I never would’ve expected this from Nelly Furtado. She’s always seemed really reserved and unassuming. And that made sense because that’s normally how outer space aliens act when they visit earth to study us. They blend in and subdue us with subliminal ad campaigns so they can steal our jobs.
Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel on Sept. 12:
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The Top 20 Action Sequences of 2013
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20. The Balloon Ride, from Oz the Great and Powerful
You can give Sam Raimi a $200 million budget but you can’t take the Sam Raimi out of Sam Raimi. Even in a family movie, Raimi was able to bring touches of his Evil Dead genius. One of the film’s many great sequences is the very twister that brings Oz (James Franco)’s hot air balloon to Oz in the first place. When shards of splintered wood threaten to poke Oz in the eyes (in 3-D no less), you know that’s still just Raimi throwing things at the latest Bruce Campbell stand-in. It’s even got the Raimi point of view shots where stuff flies at Franco and the camera is attached to the barrage of debris. It’s a fun, thrilling, humorous joy to watch, and all this is achieved in a black and white 4x3 frame that gives way to widescreen color at the end. ~ Fred Topel
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19. Dragon vs. Salamander, from Ender's Game
I was worried they were just going to turn Ender’s Game into a battle movie. The novel did feature zero gravity battles between teams of children training for space war, but what they were really about was military strategy and philosophy. Gavin Hood’s screenplay and film did in fact capture that side of the book, and this battle illustrates how Ender (Asa Butterfield) thinks outside the box but not outside the rules. Otherwise it would have just been kids floating around. ~ Fred Topel
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18. Mother Russia vs. Surburban Cops, from Kick-Ass 2
Although the film was largely detestable, there was a scene that, when taken out of context, could stand as a pretty badass scene of destruction. Mother Russia, a gigantic Russian blonde bodybuilder manages to dispatch of several cops, and their cars, using only her fists and a lawnmower. Ultra-violent, yes, but way cool. ~ Witney Seibold
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17. The Ninja Funeral/Bullet Train Fight, from The Wolverine
Ain't no funeral like a ninja funeral because a ninja funeral don't stop. In fact, it segues almost directly into a momentous and clever fight atop a speeding bullet train, by way of a chase through Tokyo with a parkour-enthusiast archer covers Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) and Mariko (Tao Okamoto), the woman whom all those ninjas are trying to assassinate. Making things worse, Wolverine's vaunted "healing factor" is starting to fail, making one of the most invulnerable superheroes feel like an underdog for the very first time, at least in a fight. ~ William Bibbiani
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16. The Automatic Strangulator, from The Counselor
Okay, so this isn’t exactly an action scene, but it’s one of two things that Javier Bardem describes that you hope you get to see in The Counselor. One is the oft-discussed “Cameron Diaz has sex with a car” scene. The other is his description of a strangling device that motorizes when placed around someone’s neck. Pulling tighter and tighter, it can sever the fingers of anyone who tries to pull it off, and it ultimately tightens to the point of severing the aortic artery… Anyway, once it’s said, you know it’s gonna happen. Who’s it gonna happen to? The bolito ain’t no MacGuffin. When it is placed around someone’s neck, each millisecond is spent simultaneously wincing facial features and wringing hands. Which I guess is kinda like that Diaz scene, too. ~ Brian Formo
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15. The Helicopter Siege, from Iron Man 3
A helicopter attack on Stark Mansion is more than just a destruction porn. The tactical demolition causes the house to collapse around Tony in a narrative way, creating obstacles that make a simple evacuation difficult. This is where Tony shares the Iron Man suit with others to protect them, an awesome twist both in action and for the character. Also, Iron Man throws a piano at a helicopter. The scene got most harrowing for me when Tony found himself underwater. Water can be pretty bad for iron, right? Of all the outrageous machines he has fought, the water made me the most worried I’ve ever been for a superhero. ~ Fred Topel
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14. The Final Game, from Ender's Game
Pay attention, folks: this is what MicroSoft thinks it's like to play the Kinect. They are so wrong. Gavin Hood's sci-fi parable culminates in a final video game version of interstellar battle that's complicated in the details, clear in the broad strokes (thanks in part to the strategy developed in an earlier action sequence, see #19), and filled with more portent and meaning than practically any other piece of action this year. At least, it does once you know how the game ends... ~ William Bibbiani
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13. The Mountain Plummet, from Lone Survivor
We’ve seen some harrowing war films, but never has the earth looked more perilous than a barrage of bullets. It does in Lone Survivor. As four soldiers slide down a mountain to attempt escape from Taliban shooters, director Peter Berg makes you feel and hear every thud on a rock, every crunch of a bone and every unforgiving whack from a tree branch. It’s incredibly tense and so shockingly reconstructed that it could stand up with the Normandy sequence of Saving Private Ryan. One of the stranger moments I’ve had while watching a film this year was the minor comfort and solace from the woman sitting behind me during this visceral mountain tumble. With each thud she gasped, “Oh my God. [pause] Oh, God!” ~ Brian Formo
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12. The Smallville Fight, from Man of Steel
Superman's first fight in Man of Steel is easily the best action sequence in a live-action Superman film. Yes, there's a lot of product placement (just like in real life), yes, there's a lot of collateral damage (just like in real life), but yes, Zach Snyder pummels our hero in a fight with all the speed, weight and overwhelming odds we always wanted from a live-action fight scene with a Kryptonian in it. ~ William Bibbiani
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11. The Tank Battle, from Fast & Furious 6
For most movies, this could have been the finale, but for Furious 6 it’s just act two. This eight and a half minute sequence features a lot of practical car work on a real stretch of closed off freeway in Spain. We get to see real extras playing pedestrians running out of the way as the tank tears through poor Roman (Tyrese)’s Mustang. The climax of this sequence has been controversial all year, as Dom (Vin Diesel) launches himself into the air to intercept Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) who has been hurled from the tank. I say the only explanation needed to justify this is “because it’s awesome,” but I’ll give you a little more. This is the more creative solution. If they were sticking to “realism” (which is all a myth in cinema anyway), we would have been treated to some derivative Speed knockoff where Dom pulls alongside the tank and extracts Letty. I’d rather see Dom get clever with his car, wouldn’t you? ~ Fred Topel
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10. The Barrel Ride, from The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Really? I get to write about The Hobbit? Well, I did vote for it since the barrel sequence is the highlight of the film and an extraordinary sequence in its own right. Just as he filled the Pelennor Fields and King Kong vs. T-Rex sequences with escalating beats of action, Peter Jackson again crafts a Rube Goldberg sequence out of what could otherwise have been a straightforward path. The interweaving of river rapids and elven Parkour make for a rousing sequence that reminds us we’re back in Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth again. It’s the kind of sequence that just keeps going and going, in the best way because it’s not done showing you awesome stuff yet. ~ Fred Topel
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9. The Free Fall Rescue, from Iron Man 3
You may have noticed that, apart from their now-pat save-the-world plotlines, many superhero films seem to lack actual scenes of casual heroism. Y’know, scenes of superheroes directly helping people in peril. Iron Man Three featured a scene wherein a dozen people were pushed out of a plane, and Iron Man, using his wits and resources, manages to fly them all to safety. It’s fun and heroic. ~ Witney Seibold
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8. The Limo Chase, from White House Down
Not only was this the awesomest and funnest action scene of the year, but I think it’s something we’ve all secretly wanted to do: steal a bulletproof limousine, and cut donuts on the White House lawn. White House Down is an underrated and exhilarating action flick, and the limo chase was most certainly the film’s highlight. ~ Witney Seibold
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7. The Magic Fight, from Now You See Me
Leave it to director Louis Leterrier (Unleashed, The Transporter 2) to take a typical fight sequence between a cop and a criminal and infuse it with martial arts and sleight-of-hand. Mark Ruffalo tries to take down one of the stage magicians performing a series of elaborate heists in hand-to-hand combat, but Franco unloads a heavy volly of flash paper, deadly accurate projectile playing cards and handcuff tricks that make an otherwise standard scene unique, unexpected and exciting. ~ William Bibbiani
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6. The Bathroom Fight, from The World's End
While there are three big fight scenes in The World’s End, we enjoyed this one the most. Why? Because it marks the shift from buddy road comedy to sci-fi action satire. A visit to the pub bathroom exposes that the young kids who had no concept of the greatness of their town turned out to be mindless consumer ‘bots filled with mechanical goo. From this point on the laughs and the movie shifts: less Brit wit chuckles, more hearty gut busts from the physical humor. Also, this fight scene is largely one glorious long take and as you’ll see with some top selections on our list – we loooove a long choreographed take. ~ Brian Formo
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5. The Speedboat Chase/Chainsaw Fight, from Before Midnight
So when the nine-foot ape-man escaped from Dr. Techtronix’ lab using its eye lasers, Ethan Hawke had no choice but to steal the speedboat with the nukes on it, launching it across the Caspian while still half-blind from the bat venom, toting Julie Delpy’s disembodied brain in a suitcase. And where does he take it? Not to President Herzog’s death palace, but to a previously unseen chainsaw emporium. Movies don’t get more thrilling. ~ Witney Seibold
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4. The Endless Runway Chase, from Fast & Furious 6
Reality went bye-bye for the purposes of the climactic chase in Fast & Furious 6, which took place on a runway that - based on the length of the sequence and the amount of high-speed driving that took place within it - would have to be over 28 miles long. That's nine times longer than the longest runway in the world. Oh screw it, a fleet of cars used grappling hooks to take down an enormous jet, major characters died, and right in the middle of it Vin Diesel jumped across the room head-first to dump a flying headbutt on the bad guy. There's nothing that isn't awesome about that. Screw reality. ~ William Bibbiani
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3. The Siege, from Captain Phillips
What a year for choppy water! It destroyed the boats of Robert Redford and Leonardo DiCaprio, but it could not keep a tugboat of Somali pirates from boarding Tom Hanks’ ship and reassuring the captain that there’s “no Al Qaeda here.” The entire sequence is riveting, even if it is just about ladder and hose placement. Choppy water is also the best place for director Peter Greengrass to utilize his love of the Steadicam. ~ Brian Formo
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2. The Motorcycle Chase, from The Place Beyond the Pines
Some action scenes are less about the thrills and more about the gentle tension. The Place Beyond the Pines is a largely downbeat character drama and an exploration of crime, but there was an shockingly good one-shot motorcycle chase to spice up the proceedings. Seen from inside a cop car, we actually get a good sense of the geography of the neighborhood where the chase takes place. ~ Witney Seibold
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1. Pretty Much Everything, from Gravity
It might be cheap to put a whole film here, but we don’t care. With the exception of a rotating fetal position shot and a mayday distress call that is answered by someone who doesn’t understand the language of the caller, well, Gravity doesn’t really ever stop. It’s a thrill ride of the highest order. Including long takes, tether tugs and a whole lot of spinning and panting. The entire film is a monolithic paean to the vastness of human endurance. From beginning to end, Gravity is a masterpiece of personal actions offsetting the done to actions. It’s all action. ~ Brian Formo
