Colin Farrell’s Pimp Hand is Deadly

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Two months after his girlfriend left him for actor Colin Farrell, college student John Marc Knight, 22, killed himself in his home near Dublin. Muireann McDonnell, 21, met Farrell at a party in a bar across the street from the gourmet food store where she worked. Sources say the pair “hit it off immediately” and starting dating. Friends say Knight was devastated.The Sun reports:

She is having trouble coping with this…When she was with John she was a devoted girlfriend…Before that she and John had been a “really good couple”, according to friends. One source said: “They’d been going out for some time and gone traveling. They had done Australia and all that. Everything really looked like it was going well.”

Yeah, things were going well until she met Colin Farrell. He’s famous for being knuckle deep five minutes after he meets a woman, so this was pretty much a done deal. Sorry buddy, your girlfriend hit the vagina Powerball. She couldn’t have gotten over you any faster if you were a speed bump.