Anna Nicole Smith Overdosed

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During a press conference held earlier today, Broward County Medical Examiner Joshua Perper revealed what was the cause of Anna Nicole Smith’s death.

Nine prescription drugs including anti-depressants, anti-anxiety drugs and the sedative chloral hydrate were found in Anna Nicole’s blood…On the day of her arrival in Florida on February 5, she complained of chills and was later found to be running a fever at 105 degrees Fahrenheit (40.5 Celsius) caused by the perforation in an abscess in her left buttock, he said. “It is our determination that the cause of death is combined drug toxicity as a result of chloral hydrate and a therapeutic concentration of other medications,” said Perper. “A bacterial infection, a viral intestinal infection and possibly flu were contributory causes of death …. We did not find any evidence of homicide…”

Wow, I can finally sleep at night knowing that Anna Nicole Smith died just how the entire world thought she did. Seriously, this has to be the least surprising press conference in history. Of course it was going to be drugs. The only other reason a 39 year old woman collapses in a hotel room is if she can’t pronounce the safe word.