Scarlett Johansson is Woman of the Year

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Scarlett Johansson was named the Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year yesterday by Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Theatricals, the nation’s oldest undergraduate drama troupe. Each year, awards are given to a male (Ben Stiller this year) and female who have made a “lasting and impressive contribution to the world of entertainment.” As part of the ceremony, Scarlett did a comedic reenactment of her now famous Vanity Fair cover, took a mock SAT exam, and led a parade through Harvard Square with a pair of drag queens. She said:

Thank you so much for this fabulous golden pot. It’s been such a wonderful day. This is the closest I’ll ever get to a Harvard degree for sure. It’s a real honor and I can’t wait till later tonight when we party.”

According to a witness who wasn’t there, Scarlett received no applause as she walked off stage because the students found that clapping would make it difficult to finish masturbating.