Britney Spears’ Album is Gonna Be Huge

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Although Britney Spears has set November 2007 as the target release date for her “comeback” album,” industry insiders say that her label, Jive Records, has no idea how to market the album because of Britney’s constant partying and train wreck of a personal life. Page Six reports:

Right now, she is trying to lay down some tracks, but no one is keen to move very quickly because there is the issue of how to market the album,” an insider said. “Jive hasn’t even picked producers for the album. The record execs are also concerned about Britney’s image. If she doesn’t clean up her act – and soon – it is going to be a problem. The public has grown really tired of her antics and despite her and [manager Larry Rudolph] promising she would change, she hasn’t,” continued our source. “She has lost her core fan base of teen girls.”

Britney’s audience has always been teen girls and horny men, so it’s safe to assume that this album will be a total failure. The 13 year old blonde in 2003 wearing the lavender Izod and fresh manicure singing along to Toxic is now the 16 year old with black hair and bangles, huffing in her parents’ basement to My Chemical Romance. The 20 year old guy masturbating to Toxic in 2003, would now probably rather have sex with a blender. Britney’s pretty much done. The only way this album will be a success is if the head of her fan club shoots her. That seems to work okay.

Britney out with new boyfirend, Eyezik.