Lindsay Lohan Goes to Rehab

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After being found passed out in a Beverly Wilshire hallway Tuesday morning, the hotel where she drank until 6 a.m. at Prince’s Golden Globes after-after party, Lindsay Lohan has checked herself into a rehab. Lohan arrived at L.A.’s Wonderland Center at 2:30pm on Tuesday. In a statement read by her publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, the actress says:

I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time.”

I checked the dictionary to see if proactive meant what I thought it did, and to my surprise, it hadn’t changed. Proactive would’ve been deciding not to chase that speedball with your tenth limoncello, you damn drunk. If you weren’t rich, you’d be found in a gutter with your anus bleeding. And with the help of the gruff but lovable drug counselor and the cast of quirky patients, you’d re-examine your life and be set on your path to recovery. Check local listings for details.

Lindsay leaving Teddy’s a few nights ago: