Lindsay Lohan is a Good Guess

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Which hard-partying starlet just got a brand-new case of herpes to kick off the new year? The poor thing can’t seem to catch a break lately.”

The only reason this might be hard to believe is because it seems surprising that Lindsay Lohan didn’t already have herpes. She’s 20 years old and her vagina looks like she’s delivering septuplets and she’s on number 6. My calculations may be off, but her body is 72% semen. When she cuts her finger, she puts on a condom instead of a band-aid.

Lindsay and her nipples: