Lindsay Lohan Will Be Dead Soon

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We all know that Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized Wednesday and diagnosed with appendicitis, making this the third time she has halted a film’s production because of “illness.” The same night, she called in sick to night shoots of her upcoming film, “I Know Who Killed Me,” but she miraculously felt well enough to do what Lindsay Lohan does best:

…sources say 20-odd friends were shuffling in and out of Lohan’s apartment in L.A. on Wednesday night when she called in sick with the flu…Her visitors “were not there to bring her chicken soup,” a source said. Another spy said she was continuing the “constant party she started on New Year’s.” While celebrating in Miami, Lohan wouldn’t allow bottles of liquor near her where they could be photographed – but Page Six received eyewitness accounts of Lohan drinking vodka out of water bottles.”

Jesus, does anything stop this whore from partying? At her funeral, she’d probably punch out of her casket and ask somebody if they wouldn’t mind giving her a ride to the liquor store.