Tell Posh Spice She’s Ugly

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Victoria Beckham has revealed she perfected her pout in photographs years ago by asking her fellow Spice Girls to call her ugly before photoshoots.

Victoria told Britain’s OK! magazine: “There’s not really an explanation behind it. You’ve just got to look really miserable, feel bored and pout. I used to get the girls to abuse me and tell me I was horrible so I could get my pout right.”

Well, since snoutface no longer has those girls around, I’d be more than happy to remind her how hard it is to look at her. All she needs to do is say the word. I’ll do it free of charge. Hell, I’ll pay her to let me do it. I have an A to Z list ready to recite – A nightmare, B ad boob job, C – word, D on’t look at me, I might die, etc.

Posh on December 3rd: