Britney Spears Likes the Pole

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In news from the inevitable, Britney Spears is now reportedly taking private striptease lessons from Paris Hilton at Paris’ Holly Hills home:

Paris took Britney upstairs where she fitted her in a blue tutu, and then Paris put on a matching tutu,” a source told the London Star. “They then went downstairs and danced at Paris’ in-house stripper pole. Britney loves her new moves and can’t wait to get a fella and test them out.”

No thanks, sweetie. We’ve seen it already. I don’t care how sexy you think you look spinning on a stripper pole, it doesn’t change the fact that your vagina looks like it lost a boxing match. Sorry, but my idea of a hot time doesn’t include dodging loose hair extensions and wondering what that smell is.

Awww yeah, baby! Gotta get me some of this: