Hilary Swank is in the Pirelli Calandar

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I really don’t know what to make of these pictures of Hilary Swank from the 2007 Pirelli Calendar. I mean, I have an erection, but I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Not that she’s ugly, but if she had more teeth she’d be a shark. She has an underrated body, but…that face. It’s a face only Chad Lowe and lesbians could love. Jesus, I wonder how he’s taking all this? They’ve only been separated for a few months, and now the only way he can see his wife is in her new calendar spread. Poor guy. If you’re on your way to Chad Lowe’s house, you might want to knock on the garage first. Do it pretty loud, because he might not be able to hear you with his car running.

Pretty please, let’s kill the whole Magnum P.I., jet pilot sunglasses thing. They’re not that cool. They look about as ridiculous as those ground effects on your Honda Civic or an Asian girl with blonde hair.

Hilary and Harry Connick Jr. on the set of “P.S., I Love You” on Nov. 27th: