Britney Spears Has a New Boyfriend

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You’d think after finally ditching Kevin Federline, Britney Spears would be doing anything she could to regain any shred of relevance she once had. Then you’d realize you just said “Britney Spears” and slap yourself, because well you see, Britney and Paris Hilton have been hanging out together now for a whole week. Sometimes with panties and sometimes without. After spotting them at Hyde on Friday night, a source tells People:

Paris was acting like Britney’s boyfriend. She opened doors for her, held her hand, and even had her arm around Britney’s lower back. Britney happily accepted Paris’ friendly gestures.”

Of all the people in Hollywood, Britney has chosen to run around with this whore. Child molesters make better life choices. Seriously, nothing could be worse than what she’s doing right now. Britney could’ve dug up Hitler and carried him around at parties and it would have made more sense than this does right now.

Tags: upskirt, vagina, crotch, britney spears