Paris Hilton Needs to Be in Jail

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A picture was taken as Paris Hilton opened her handbag to touch up her nail polish at a Dolce & Gabbana show in Milan last week. Several news sources are claiming it’s weed, because it’s obviously weed, but Paris’ publicist, Elliot Mintz, gave his usual grasping at straws rebuttal to these claims:

Things are not always as they appear. It would be unfair to draw any conclusions based solely on these photos.”

Actually, what would be fair is to draw conclusions based on Paris Hilton. Because “solely based” on what’s on this site every day (like this, this, and this), that’s either weed or a magic tea that cures syphilis.