Jessica Simpson Has a Push Up Bra

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If Jessica Simpson wants to keep being famous, she probably shouldn’t have gone down three cup sizes then worn a see through shirt. You’re not supposed to go from DDs to buying gel inserts and kleenex overnight. DDs make people like you. DDs make people forget for a minute that you have a condescendingly flat ass. DDs hide the fact that you pay people to paint you up like a gay racoon. Succulent DDs stop world hunger and global warming. Big, round, juicy DDs teach blind children to read and…uh, sorry. What were we talking about?