Jessica Simpson is a Wreck

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Apparently there is a downside to being an overexposed, spoiled brat. Jessica Simpson threw a hissy fit after Ashlee’s “Chicago” debut. Page Six reports:

During the after-party for her sister Ashlee’s London debut in “Chicago,” Simpson stormed out of the Sound Bar shouting, “I don’t want to be here – why won’t people just leave me alone?” Later, her dad Joe told the Mirror, “Jess is quite down at the moment. She’s not comfortable talking to people as she’s quite depressed and we’re walking on eggshells. Meanwhile, at a recent shoot for a Direct TV commercial, Simpson kept everyone waiting for over an hour – due to a stomach bug, spies say. Her mane-man, hairdresser and constant companion Ken Paves, was overheard telling people, “Well, what do you want her to do? [Bleep] her pants?”

Poor Jessica. It must suck being generationally wealthy at 26. Those damn selfish migrant workers don’t know how good they have it, Jessica is the victim here. She must cry herself to sleep every night worrying about whether or not she should wake up at noon. She must live in constant fear of answering the phone, knowing at any time, it could be another company offering her millions to push her tits up next to their product. That’s no way to live, man. Seriously, if I were Jessica, I’d kill myself. No wait, I’d kill my dad then kill myself. No, no, no, I’d dress up like Jessica Simpson kill her dad, have sex with her sister, then kill her. Yeah, yeah, that one.

Ashlee Simpson with the Hamburglar at London’s Met Bar Sept 22nd: