Paris Hilton is a Problem

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When Paris Hilton appears in court next month to face her DUI charge, they won’t throw her into a pit of lions as my petition clearly laid out, but she may be ordered to attend mandatory AA meetings. However, Moderation Management, a center which promotes moderation instead of abstinence, has invited Paris to receive alcohol abuse counseling at their facility. The owner, Marc Kern states:

Paris is obviously an early stage problem drinker, and an abstinence group is an overkill and inappropriate for a celebrity…To mandate that Paris Hilton attend an abstinence-only support group is counterproductive and is not really going to help, if our goal is to rehabilitate or educate. “What is best for her? Paris needs Moderation Management, not AA.”

Paris might be an early stage problem drinker, but we would all feel a lot safer if she was in the early stages of the ebola virus. Then died. This used up skank could be clean and sober from now on or have to be turned on her side when the paramedics come, I could give a shit less about either one. I could accidentally hit Paris with my truck then get out and give bystanders high fives to make them think I did it on purpose.

Paris at Hef’s 80th birthday becuase we haven’t used them yet and she’s a slut: