Hulk Hogan is Still Yellow

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It must suck to be Hulk Hogan’s fluffer. Somebody got him ready to go out and sport his appropriately colored banana hammock and you know it wasn’t that wife of his. She looks more like Rex Kwan Do’s wife, Starla, in Napoleon Dynamite than anything resembling a woman born with x-chromosomes and self esteem. The last thing she’d want is to have this beast going out and attracting anyone with that ripened Chiquita. No, the fluffer is likely a “straight” guy who’s also paid to tell the Hulk it’s “okay” not to have testicles anymore as a result of years of abusing steroids. Yeah, Hulk. Chicks look for nonexistent balls on their mates just like we look for perfume which smells like vomit and vitamins that turn our vaginas to sand. Just who are you trying to attract here, big guy?