Nick Lachey Would Rather Live With Satan

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Last week Nick Lachey had an interview with an Australian radio station. Naturally, he was asked how he felt about his ex-father-in-law, “Papa” Joe Simpson who is rumored to be one of the major factors in Nick’s divorce with Jessica Simpson. At one point Nick was asked if he’d “rather be trapped on a desert island with Joe or Satan, Prince of Darkness” to which he replied, “I might take my chances with Satan, Prince of Darkness.”

Smart choice, Nick. Satan and I are pretty tight now that we’re done haggling over that pesky little sale. It turns out Papa Joe also had some business dealings with Satan, but Satan said Papa Joe really gave him the creeps. He offered Satan a night with Jessica and Ashlee in exchange for a shorter contract amongst other things. Of course Satan would normally go for something like that, but even he has standards. He told Papa Joe that trannies and butt-chins really don’t do anything for him. Then Papa Joe grew enraged, threw a fit and stormed out of Satan’s office pledging to take his job one day. Satan’s eyes welled with tears whilst telling me the story and he was visibly shaken. So I gave him a big hug and proceeded to have sex with him. It was the least I could do.

Jessica on August 4th:

Nick on August 10th at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards nominations: